Great Benefits but I wish knew how their performance management worked BEFORE I started. PLEASE READ!! - Principal Associate Capital One Employee Review

Unfortunately, all of the above is meaningless because Capital One's performance management system is an unmitigated disaster. I could write a book about how horrible it is, but I'll try and condense everything below. (I WISH I KNEW THIS BEFORE I CAME TO CAP ONE. PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY) 1) At capital one there's an assumption that the level you came in at is the absolute highest that you could have, and once you start, nothing you did before capital one matters. 2) You will stay at your current level unless you kiss up to your manager because vertical movement at Cap One is seriously messed up. The ONLY WAY to get a role at a higher level is to get promoted by your current manager, which is very hard, or to find a role at the next level and humbly ask the posting manager if he/she would consider you for the role even if it's above your level. The posting manger will then snoop around and go to your current manager. If your manager doesn't tell this manager that you were on the promotion track you won't get the higher role. Period, end of story. You will not move up unless your current manager loves you. The assumption is that all movement is horizontal. Promotion is the only way up. (To get around this a lot of people leave the company and come back at higher levels. DO NOT come here lower than you think you're worth. It's not worth your time. Hold out for the higher role) 3) Your colleagues who've been with the company longer than you understand the culture and you will suffer because of it. They know that you're the sucker for trying to get stuff done while they spend all day brown nosing with your manager and accomplishing nothing. They will get promoted and rewarded at year end and you will get the "inconsistent rating." If you don't "shape up" and drink the kool-aid you will be pushed out. If your "poor behavior" continues you will be shown the door. 4) You get pushed out by being given this "inconsistent" rating that has no grounding in reality. When this happens you can't apply to any other roles until you've sufficiently kissed up to your manager who then raises your rating. Don't like brown nosing? Too bad, it's your only way out. Please direct yourself back to point #3. Really don't like brown nosing? Too too bad, direct yourself back to point #3 twice and then find the door. Try and fight your managers rating? Too bad, you're going to lose and then your manager is really really going to hate you. You're never getting out of inconsistent and we're beyond point #3 at this point. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. 5) Influence not achievements, just remember that. "Influence" at cap one is simply "justification for accomplishing nothing while still feeling good about oneself." You can't make this stuff up. Try running a department where every decision requires unanimous agreement from all stakeholders. Want to see how this works (or doesn't)? Work for Cap One. Do you dare have an opinion? Please direct yourself back to point #3 6) Cap One is filled with managers who've been with the company since the earth cooled. They will force-feed you the kool-aid. Direct yourself back to point#3 if you have a conscience or morals. 7) Calibration... Oh I havent even gotten here yet and I'm already 7 points down. At end of year you're ranked amongst your peers and given a year end rating. Did you drink the kool-aid and were you buddy buddy with your manager? Congrats, you'll be fine. You're a high-strong to exceptional. Did you challenge the status quo and question unethical decisions made by peers and managers? Direct yourself to back to point #3 please. No, really, back to point #3. Cap One doesn't actually care about "doing the right thing" or "acting ethically." 8) Ok i'm actually just getting started but I'll stop here. When in doubt, go back to point #3